One hundred days ago if you asked me the question "can people change?", I would have been doubtful. Doubtful because I didn't think I could change. One hundred days ago, I was battling a demon, that I only now realize was my biggest flaw. This demon controlled my life, was the reason for my failures, and was ultimately going to cost me everything I had at best, and at worst my own life. At 26 years old, I didn't think I was old enough to be an alcoholic. When I thought of the term, I thought of some lazy, overweight male, sitting at home drinking liquor all day with no job, no money. I didn't think an alcoholic could manifest itself as a 26 year old female, working hard to pay the bills, but blacking out every weekend and many times during the week. I chalked this up to still being a kid. A kid who was four years out of college, making the same mistakes I did when I was in college, but these mistakes had bigger consequences. I was putting myself in unknown situations, with no recollection of how I got there. People around me would whisper, but I wasn't deaf. I could hear what they were saying. I could hear them calling me "that" girl, saying how I was ruining my life, saying that I was going to get myself into a situation I couldn't get out of. I made some bad choices and I thank God, that I never had to pay the consequences for those choices.
Let's fast forward 100 days. Today I am thriving. Doing better than ever at my job, have a relationship with my husband that is probably at it's all time best, am enjoying a healthy lifestyle. How did I get here? I had to make the ultimate choice to get rid of the bad influences. Alcohol wasn't the bad influence, it was the people who I surrounded myself with causing this. I felt I had to keep up with a lifestyle. I'm not saying every person I hung out with was a bad influence, it was one in particular person. My husband gave me the ultimatum get rid of her, or get rid of me. It was hard. A decision in my blurry, blacked out state that wasn't easy to make .After one night of drinking, ending with my heart being completely black because of her, I decided, enough was enough. Getting rid of her wasn't as easy as just ignoring her in public. I had to change my lifestyle. I loved working out at the gym, but knew that was the source of many of my problems. With my husband's persuasion, I took a giant leap (and lift) of faith and joined a Crossfit gym. I've always been against Crossfit. I've listened to what everyone said about it. "It's dangerous", "the coaches don't know what their doing", "those people aren't in shape, they can't even run a mile". Boy was I wrong. I had so much confidence walking in the door, only be torn down immediately as soon as I touched a barbell. However, I found myself driven to do something. This same compulsion I had to alcohol, I now had for working out. I wanted to be the best. I learned to channel my energy into something positive. I didn't want to go to happy hour in fear of missing a work out, and I definitely didn't want to chug a bottle of wine after busting my ass in the gym. I'm not saying I don't touch alcohol today, but I have learned what drinking in moderation means. 100 days. Give yourself a chance. Whatever you want to change, find a way. Take a moment to look back 100 days from now and enjoy that sense of accomplishment. Crossfit has taught me you will always prove yourself wrong. For every can't there is a can and a will. I can't change, so I thought, but I did.
Haley Parler Moore
Charleston resident. Digital Marketer. Crazy Crossfitter. Bulldog Mom. Gamecock fan. Constantly clad in Lululemon.