Let's just say last year didn't go as planned. It started off great then went quickly downhill. But how often does anything in life go as planned? It was a year of chaos, change, and depression. Things went from great to straight up hell. In retrospect, I should have realized when I was feeling that ultra-high there would be a low. Last year taught me that I am stronger then I think, but also can become my own worst enemy.
I am happy to leave 2018 in 2018. While it wasn't all dark clouds and rain showers, there were plenty of good times. My peak was definitely Europe, specifically the five days in London. My valley was the summer of 2018 and all the changes I thought I "wanted". The best day of 2018 was the Monday spent at Oktoberfest. The lesson I took away from that is just be okay to drink a little too much and have a little too much fun and don't worry about what other people think. For a while there, I took life a little too seriously.
I don't know what is in store for 2019. May be a move to a new city? May be nothing drastic at all? May be the purchase of a new "toy" aka boat? Who knows. I do know that I'm going to keep busting my butt every single day to become a better version of myself. That's all I can ask of myself.
The other day when I was in the gym and thinking of "goals", all I could think of is that I don't to bitch out on workouts or aspects of workouts because they are hard. I think that goes for life too. I think last year, when the going got tough, I crumbled. I did a lot of positive things for myself last year (like going to therapy regularly) which helped me gain a new perspective, but still sat out on the sidelines during the hard times of life, instead of other positive outlets.
I am finally in a good space when it comes to my health and wellness. Going back to my old Crossfit gym and realizing that it's one hour of my day and doesn't have to monopolize my life has been of the utmost importance mentally and physically. For the most part, I'm performing better than I ever have. My diet is somewhat reigned it and should get better throughout the year. I recently started working with a nutritionist.
I would love to travel more this year. I've found traveling gives me something to look forward and keeps me motivated to work harder than ever. Work hard, play hard mentally. My first trip of 2019 will be to Boston the beginning of next month. I challenged myself to pick a city I haven't been before. I had a credit with Southwest Airlines. While I would love to go to the West Coast, that wasn't doable this time around, so I chose Boston. I'll be going the weekend before St. Patty's day so it's actually pretty affordable. (Hello nice hotel for under $100 a night and a RT flight for less than $215!) I still would love to go back to Europe, perhaps Paris (and of course, while I'm over there go back to London!).
I also want to keep growing as an entrepreneur. I've worked in a entrepreneurial role now for two years and it's time to start spreading my wings and grow. Nothing makes you feel like more of an entrepreneur than tax season (and the sweat and anguish that comes with it!). I would love to take on more new clients and grow with my main company, the Link Builders, and build my brand HPMarketing (DBA as Moore About Charleston).
It has taken me a month to finish this blog, I'll admit. I love to write, but then get super busy with work and life, and forget about it. The good news is we still have 11 more months of 2019., so let's kick it!
So I've always been afraid to state my opinion on this matter because I have a lot of friends and acquaintances who participate in MLM's (mid-level marketing schemes, "network marketing", "pyramid schemes", etc). I by no means want to offend anyone who participates in these, however, I do want to make it known why I am against these types of programs. If you disagree with my opinion, that is fine, but it is just my opinion. Again, I mean no harm in what I am about to say.
1. I am a Marketer and Don't Like the Term Being Thrown Around
I am a marketer by trade. I have a Bachelor's Degree in Journalism & Mass Communications, I took classes on advertising, media, economics, and even social media (yes, back in 2011 social media was still considered a "new" thing). I hate the term being thrown around. I hate the fact that any Tom, Dick, or Jane with a social media account, trying to sell a product, calls themselves a "marketer". Salesperson, yes, marketer, no. There is difference between sales and marketing. My job is to build awareness about a brand or product, a salesperson's job is to actually sell it. In fact, I am a crappy salesperson. I hate talking about money (which I'll get into later). So I would never call myself a salesperson. I am not discrediting salespeople, there are ton of excellent salespeople who are highly skilled and highly educated. So please do not label yourselves as "marketers". You are salespeople.
2. MLM's are Path for Extremely Gullible People to Lose A Lot of Money
I hate when people pray on gullible people. I, myself, can be gullible at times. I thank my husband, family, and friends for helping me to become less gullible every day. Nothing irks me more then to see the messages on Facebook of "Who wants to sit on their couch, in their pj's, and make a decent side income? Reply below if you are interested.". And then people reply "Interested" and then the person says "PM Sent".
Yes, it is possible to make a decent living in your pjs at home. I do it every day. But what I don't do is make a decent living at the expense of others. I have a career that allows me these luxuries. My problem with the above scenario is that if the opportunity was that great, and the money is that great, why not be upfront with how much you are actually making, the job duties required, and how to apply for the position? I have had to rely on Facebook to recruit for my business. However, there are so many skeptics (like myself) who have been burned by MLM's (or are just sick of hearing about them) that bypass my actual recruiting post or see me as a "scam" artist.
Since MLM's are not upfront about what they are "recruiting" for, they lure people in with the thought of making a large sum of money. They play on the heartstrings of women wanting to be stay at home moms, but just can't quite afford it. So they say, you can have all this and be super successful, but you have to invest a little bit first. To be an entrepreneur, you often have to come up with capital beforehand, however, how much is determined by you and your goals. MLM's promise that your small investment will turn into something huge. What they don't include is how much work will be required to reach that level. Tons of and tons of work will go into making every dollar. Many times this is just to recoup your initial investment. There are many other ways I would rather earn a side living than to dump a chunk of change into an MLM and hope I get a return eventually.
3. MLM's Create a Sense of Distrust Around Peers
Prior to MLM's, when I would receive a message from an old friend on Facebook I would get excited. It was always nice to connect with someone from your past. However, now I get skeptical because 99% of the time that person is reaching out to me to join their MLM. It's actually quite hurtful. I love building friendships with people with no strings attached. However, it feels like genuine friendship has gone out the window. (Social media can share some blame in that). I feel like everyone is just trying to strike up a friendship with me so I'll go in on their MLM.
The flip side of that is when you already have a friendship with someone and they invest in an MLM. I'm supportive of friends helping friends. I'm always helping out friends in need. However, I do not want to support friend's who have MLM's because I become a crutch to them and their business. They become pushier and pushier for me to "join" .or whatever. It just takes away from the friendship when you are feeling forced to support their "business", which you yourself do not truly believe in. I'll be happy to support your actual retail business, restaurant, or any other business, but I am not going to support your MLM where you would only receive pennies of my business and the rest ends up in the hands of the higher ups.
As I mentioned above, I also hate talking about money. I hate anytime money is brought up in a conversation. That's why I sucked at sales. I could never close the deal. So I hate feeling like money (and the talk of money) comes between me and my friends.
My reasonings against MLM's are something I've wanted to get off my chest for a while. Again, you don't have to agree with me, but please respect my opinion. I am always respectful to MLM's, but simply chose not to participate. If you are actually interested in building your own unique brand and marketing it, that is an avenue I can definitely help with. I like to see the money people make actually go in their hands and not 1000 other people's hands who had nothing to do with your success. Just my two cents worth. Thanks for reading!
When thinking about what word I wanted to model my year after, the only thing that came to mind was "moderation". If you know me, you know I like to give 150% into everything I do, and thus end up diving 150% into the project at hand. My world will revolve around said project and it will become an obsession.
While this is a healthy mindset for work and my career, it's not a healthy mindset for my life. I have a hard time turning off the "switch". Last year, I dove 150% into my new job, Crossfit, and just every day life. I pushed myself to see what my limit was. While it wasn't a bad thing, I certainly hit my limit, and many times when doing so, felt inadequate in the process. I tried too hard to be the best, forgetting in the process to enjoy the ride and learn from my mistakes. An error on the job, left me feeling like my whole life was a giant error. A bad Crossfit workout that day, would be put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day. Eating fast food would make me feel like I was so ridiculously unhealthy. This all led to a giant amount of frustration and anger towards myself and the ones and I loved.
That led me to where I am today, "moderation". The initial word came up when I was trying to drastically scale back my alcohol consumption. After going 21 days without a single drop of alcohol, and then having a couple drinks from time to time, I realized I was fully capable of moderation on that end. But what about everything else? How could I apply this word to my everyday life?
First, after reading a very inspiring piece from Holly Butcher, a 27 year old Australian woman, who recently passed away from cancer, I realized how truly short life is to stress and allow certain petty things to take over my life. It hit so close to home reading about someone, who was my age, pass away from a disease that any of us could get. I realized who cares if I had chicken nuggets today or drank a glass of wine because I had a rough day. I realized how very little it matters in life. This quote specifically punched me in the gut:
"You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling.
Let all that shit go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more."
That's when it hit me, it's okay to live a moderate life. It's okay to enjoy things you love and to not stress out about them. I don't have to make everything 150% of my life. I can go workout without feeling like I'm competing against everyone else. I can bust my tail at work, but enjoy it and learn while I ago. I can leave to take a walk with my dog when work gets hard or the days start to get mundane. I have control over my life and I chose to live it moderately.
Is #20GreatTeen a thing? If not, we should make it a thing. So far 2018 is off to a tremendous start. (It's only been four days, so may be I should give it sometime...but who cares?!). I think I was one of the few who didn't think 2017 was that terrible either. It certainly had some low points, I struggled with some issues over the summer, but I was proud of myself for being able to turn those around and really end 2017 on a very positive note.
Anyways, I sit here blogging on what is now day two of our "snow day". I was pretty excited about the snow. It hadn't really snowed here since I moved here back in 2012. The last snow I saw was in January 2011 when I was at USC. After sliding on ice on a bridge and wrecking my car in 2011, I'm sitting this one out, comfortably in my pjs with my coffee at home.
If you can't tell already, one of my main goals for the new year is to be more positive. In the past the glass was half empty for me. I'm working to change that around. I mean I have a career that I love (I work from my Lululemon clothes everyday). I have a home that is well lived in. I can afford food on the table and to splurge every now and then. I'm at one of my healthiest and physically fit times in life. So what do I have to complain about? Sure the world has it's faults, my husband and I get in a tiff every now and then, but overall, I have what I need and I need to be grateful.
I'm also looking forward to becoming more of a leader in and out of the workplace this year. With each passing year, I become less and less of a "young" adult and more and more of an "actual" adult. (Scary, I know!) In the process, I have discovered things that I am truly passionate about and want to share with others.
One thing that I am passionate about is cryptocurrency. I spent the second half of the year learning and beginning to invest extra money into it. I truly see this as way to make a secondary income for myself and for other women out their. I see this as the path to financial freedom. I am hoping to launch a Women in Crypto meet up this year (stay tuned Charleston ladies!).
I hope everyone elses' 2018 is off to an amazing start! Let's all work together to make it #20GREATteen!
Anyways, here are some pictures from our "snow day". A lot of fun, but now I'm ready for summer!
It's been a little over 24 hours since news broke of the worst mass shooting in US History. Every morning, when I wake up, I lay in bed and do a brief skim of the news of the day, before starting my day. I noticed on Monday morning an alert about a shooting in Vegas. I was half asleep, and paid no mind to it. I then did my daily social media check and saw that not only was there a shooting, there was a mass shooting. Shock, disgust, and how did this happen AGAIN, went through my head. The feeling of being numb to this type of news ran through my body. Hatred filled my mind, because I felt numb to the news. Why, why, why was all I kept asking.
Now let's rewind to the night prior. Sunday night was a somewhat normal night. We had a lazy Sunday. Typically, on Sunday nights, we watch football or something pretty light hearted. Well, as we were skimming the guide, one show caught our attention, Active Shooter: Colorado Movie Theater Shooting (or something like that). What's weird is my husband knows that real crime drama shows cause me intense anxiety and inability to sleep. However, he was intrigued and we both got sucked in. After the show, we started talking about mass shootings. It was a hard conversation to have. The documentary highlighted what everyday people and first responders do in an active shooter situation. We had the conversation of what we would do. All I kept thinking is no matter what, I wouldn't want to be separated from my husband in a situation like that. If I died, I would want him by my side.
Now, all that keeps filling my head is how many people lost their husband, wife, or loved ones and in such a tragic manner. How many husband's and wive's told their significant other to escape only to be gunned down themselves. How many goodbye's that never got said. My heart absolutely breaks.
Last week, was my first week in my new car. Part of the new car package was a Sirius XM radio subscription. I've previously had Sirius and was happy to have it again. Well, during my commute back and forth to the gym on Thursday, Buzz from the Highway was chatting with a woman on the phone who said she was excited to see them at the Route 91 Harvest Music Festival. On Saturday and Sunday, I listened to the live broadcast from the festival. Now, I can't help wondering, what happened to the lady on the phone. Is she okay? She's a stranger, who I've never met, but to hear her excitement for her weekend in Vegas, that now probably has turned into nightmares and anxiety (at best) and at worst injuries or death, breaks my heart.
I keep running through my head, that this could of been me, my husband, my friends, my family. We love country music, we love traveling. I was preparing to ask my husband if we could go to the festival next year. I try not live in the panic and fear the world. But it's hard to feel like you can trust anyone any more. A simple beep of the horn at someone who almost hit you in traffic, can turn into a gun shot. A trip to the grocery store, can end badly. It's scary to see how close to home these shootings have become. The Mother Emanuel shooting was right next door to my office at the time (and I was the last one there late that night). The Fort Lauderdale Airport shooting happened three weeks to the day that we flew in and out of that terminal. I just can't help but live in fear. Anxiety protrudes my mind and makes it hard to sleep. I want to live in a world that mass violence and terrorism aren't a daily occurrence. I want to bring children into a world where they can go to school and my only worry is if someone pushes them in the hallway, not shoots them.
I grieve for the 59 people who went to a concert and never came home. To the people who walked out the door of their house, with kids, pets, and family inside, never to return. I celebrate those who risked everything to ensure a fellow human was safe. I applaud the law enforcement and first responders who responded to the scene and probably still have yet to get more than a hours sleep. To the doctor's who went into auto pilot and just tried to save as many lives as possible knowing that the odds were stacked against them. I celebrate the people who held the hands of strangers so they didn't have to die alone.
These are just my thoughts as I process all that has occurred. An event that occurred thousands of miles away, yet feels like it occurred in my own backyard.
I'll admit, I was a bit critical initially of the eclipse. Unlike many others, I started hearing about the eclipse last November while working at my previous agency. We were doing 2017 planning and it came up in conversation. We knew then it was going to be a big deal. I remember the date distinctly because August 22nd was my second wedding anniversary and I remember the eclipse being the day before. (I also kicked myself and said why didn't we do a four year engagement and get married on eclipse day?!...haha).
Anyways, as the months passed and word spread, I started to care a little bit less about it. I felt cool knowing about it so early on, but as everyone else knew, I didn't feel like it was a hot secret. Then the panic phase of the eclipse hit where everyone started to buy the glasses and then only certain ones were approved. Initially I was against buying the glasses because I saw it as a big conspiracy for people to turn a quick buck. (I'm in marketing and should support that, but I don't like schemes). I opted to not get involved in the hoopla and thus missed out on buying the glasses before it became totally impossible to find certified glasses.
Because the next day was our anniversary and we are going out to dinner, we opted to just stay home, work, and enjoy the eclipse. I went out to get the mail when the partial eclipse started. I looked up for a brief second and saw the partial eclipse and that's when the realness/ coolness really hit me. I then wished I had the glasses so I could look longer. My neighbor was laying across the street on the lawn with glasses, camera, and tripod in tow. I opted to join him and saw the last bit of the partial eclipse before totality.
Totality hit and you could hear people from Charlestown Landing and across the neighborhood cheering. It was truly an awe-some experience. (I was literally in awe the whole time). I instantly regretted all the crappy things I said about the eclipse and realized why people travel hundreds of miles for two minutes. The neighborhood went dark. The temperature dropped. The craziest thing about it was how cloudy it was just prior to the eclipse. It was as if God opened up the skies just in time. Once totality ended, rain clouds followed and storm followed suit. I remembered what I heard on tv (and what was reiterated when I was in the Sistine Chapel), take pictures with your mind and not your phone. I tried to put my phone down for a while and just enjoy it. (Hence my crappy photos below). I wanted to live in that moment, since I will never get that moment back. It was truly an experience I will never forget and the fact that I got to experience at my own home, in my own neighborhood, made it that much better.
I promise! Life has been slow, yet busy lately. I love this blog. Even if no one reads it. It really is more of a personal outlet then anything. But not too personal, because I'm aware that what goes out to the public, will always be public. Anyways, here's an update on life lately.
Recently, I had the pleasure of attending the Women in Philanthropy and Leadership Conference hosted by Coastal Carolina University. I've been to several Women in Politics conferences, but this was my first true Leadership conference. Let's be honest, initially, I only went to the conference because I badly needed a break from the office. The day was long (commuting from Charleston to Myrtle Beach and back in day, makes for a long day, any day). I took away so much more than I thought from this conference. I would not classify myself as a feminist, or one who is really loud about female issues, but I found myself really relating to each and every speaker. In my head, I was screaming, "yes, that is so me". Here are a few key take aways I took from this conference.
1. Never say "no" to an opportunity. Jan Fields, the former US President for all McDonalds, was the first speaker. She brought up this amazing point. I was over the moon, excited to hear a McDonalds exec speak. (If you know me, you know my very, very, unhealthy relationship with chicken nuggets, and McDonalds). Jan was remarkable. Hearing how she worked her way up from the fry cook to a President was awesome. Her sense of humor and sarcastic attitude made it even better. Too often, I get too scared, or too nervous to do something, so I find it easier to say no, then to do it. There are so many opportunities that I sometimes kick myself for not taking part in, whether its a trip with friends, or a job that I saw on a job board that I felt I was under-qualified for. Under qualification brings me to point two.
2. Men are risk takers, women are not. At one point during the conference (I believe it was on the lunch time panel) someone brought up the point that women often settle with their careers. Whether it's not asking for a raise and not knowing our worth (I am very guilty of this!), or not asking for a promotion or interviewing for a job because we feel we are unqualified. Women often don't take risks, whereas men do just that.
3. Women tend to work office-hours and feel guilty if they are not at work during working hours. Men will show up at 10 am and say "Yes! I am here" and feel their day has been productive. There is nothing wrong with having this sense of productivity. It's all about learning how to be more efficient with your time. I'll admit, many of these women are successful due to long hours in the office and lots of work, but learning how to be more efficient with your time at work, leads to better productivity, and, in turn, leads to a longer, better career.
4. It's all about the Pie Life. The last speaker was Samantha Ettus, author of the Pie Life. What is the Pie Life? It is that messy pie that makes up your life. It's that work/life balance thingy that the we all strive for. I don't have kids, so I don't struggle with some of the same struggles that many other women struggle with; however, I do have this work/life balance issue. Learning how to balance, work, my stringent health and wellness sector, my husband, my four-legged kid, my house, it's overwhelming. I've learned to try and balance, but still struggle when any minor thing comes up and interrupts my weekly agenda. Many days I get up at 5 am and go straight to my Crossfit gym, come home, shower (have no time to dry my hair), dash to work, and sometimes not leaving work until well after 6 or 7. I try to keep this in check, but it's hard when there are events after work that I desperately want to attend to, but know that I have to be in bed or have chores to do around the house.
Overall, I took a lot from this conference. One, never show up to an interview with wet hair (thanks, Jan, I'll be sure to dry it before an interview). Two, approach life for what it is, life. Things are going to get in the way. It's okay not to be perfect. It's okay to have a pie that is messy. Mine sure is. I'm learning to embrace the mess. Embrace the times with my husband that we ditch laundry on a Sunday and instead get out the house and go on a walk downtown. Embrace the mess. The mess sustains me. No one ever said a pie doesn't taste as good just because it's messy. Life isn't an episode of Top Chef.
Haley Parler Moore
Charleston resident. Digital Marketer. Crazy Crossfitter. Bulldog Mom. Gamecock fan. Constantly clad in Lululemon.