When thinking about what word I wanted to model my year after, the only thing that came to mind was "moderation". If you know me, you know I like to give 150% into everything I do, and thus end up diving 150% into the project at hand. My world will revolve around said project and it will become an obsession.
While this is a healthy mindset for work and my career, it's not a healthy mindset for my life. I have a hard time turning off the "switch". Last year, I dove 150% into my new job, Crossfit, and just every day life. I pushed myself to see what my limit was. While it wasn't a bad thing, I certainly hit my limit, and many times when doing so, felt inadequate in the process. I tried too hard to be the best, forgetting in the process to enjoy the ride and learn from my mistakes. An error on the job, left me feeling like my whole life was a giant error. A bad Crossfit workout that day, would be put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day. Eating fast food would make me feel like I was so ridiculously unhealthy. This all led to a giant amount of frustration and anger towards myself and the ones and I loved.
That led me to where I am today, "moderation". The initial word came up when I was trying to drastically scale back my alcohol consumption. After going 21 days without a single drop of alcohol, and then having a couple drinks from time to time, I realized I was fully capable of moderation on that end. But what about everything else? How could I apply this word to my everyday life?
First, after reading a very inspiring piece from Holly Butcher, a 27 year old Australian woman, who recently passed away from cancer, I realized how truly short life is to stress and allow certain petty things to take over my life. It hit so close to home reading about someone, who was my age, pass away from a disease that any of us could get. I realized who cares if I had chicken nuggets today or drank a glass of wine because I had a rough day. I realized how very little it matters in life. This quote specifically punched me in the gut:
"You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling.
Let all that shit go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more."
That's when it hit me, it's okay to live a moderate life. It's okay to enjoy things you love and to not stress out about them. I don't have to make everything 150% of my life. I can go workout without feeling like I'm competing against everyone else. I can bust my tail at work, but enjoy it and learn while I ago. I can leave to take a walk with my dog when work gets hard or the days start to get mundane. I have control over my life and I chose to live it moderately.
Haley Parler Moore
Charleston resident. Digital Marketer. Crazy Crossfitter. Bulldog Mom. Gamecock fan. Constantly clad in Lululemon.